Whatever the Question...

Why am I willing to subject myself to the up and down oftentimes, heart-wrenching, of social, political, comunity organizing? Having been repeatedly asked, and having repeatedly asked myself... I can only think of the tattoo that has been on my mind for a while now --- something signifying a life philosophy that inspires and comforts, motivates and challenges, and fills me with a sense of adventure and wonder at how it's all going to turn out.

Quite simply -- Whatever the question, the answer is love.

Is there a deeper understanding possible that can sustain each of us to live a life that answers all questions with love? Poets, songwriters, artists, humans of all measure and of all faiths have contemplated this idea, in search for meaning, purpose, understanding. And those whose lives would strive to be a reflection of love, and of love's intention, turn this question inward and over and over ask, "what will I do with my time, where will I spend my energy, upon what will I turn love's focus?"

That's the answer, I say. The answer is in the question. It's because I must. What else would I do?

"Love is all there is." As a couple of wise boys from Liverpool said.

Or as some wise girl in a San Francisco housing projects, wrote, in a bathroom stall... (and from that I add love, because I've been asking myself the question, and have been looking for answers, and then I close the door of a bathroom stall and see this...)

But it isn't easy. The doing isn't so much the hard part. Oftentimes, I find myself energized and inspired by the doings, of the moments when you can see something triggered within someone, and all I can do is go with the flow and be amazed and grateful, and sometimes even overwhelmed with some sort of satisfaction of being filled where I had only an inkling of conscious realization that something had been missing. What is hard, what is difficult is remembering the truths when you come home... and your heart is pounding, your hand is shaking, and your head is buzzing with what you have done, what you haven't done, and the reality of just how much more needs to be done. And you wonder, you question, I wonder, I question if I'm really up to the task. And from what well will I draw upon to sustain the answer I have chosen to stick with. I know the well is vast, that it is infinite, but sometimes I don't think I am quite capable of remembering that. So I awaken, with a few hours of sleep, where I had collapsed, reluctantly and exhaustedly into sleep. I awaken and with the whispers of the universe still in the room, I write.

I love it that in the picture above, you can see a piece of tape on the wall, put there for who knows what reason. And I find it ironic that this apparent useless piece of tape is painted over. Because now, if it were to be taken off, it would leave it's permanent mark of something having been there but is now so obviously gone. Maybe I am just a piece of tape. Useless, insignificant in what actually sustains a wall, and holding up nothing but myself, but leaving a small mark that will remain when I am gone.

And I just spend a little time in wonder, like a robot in a sci-fi movie or Spock, who cannot understand that it means when my eyes just want to leak water. Is it love's well unsprung?

Random quotes from songs I heard while writing:

• "I believe that love is the answer, I believe that love will find a way." - Blessed Union of Souls
• "Aqui no existe la tristesta, solo exista la alegria. Este baile de los queridos... " - Ozomatli
• "If I tell you I'm strong will you play along, or will you see I'm as insecure as anybody else?" - Dave Matthews and Blue Man Group
• "It's a new day, it's a new dawn, it's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good." - Nina Simone
• "How long til my soul gets it right, did any human being ever reach that kind of light?" - Indigo Girls
• "I've come to find a way to breakthrough and save this heart of mine" - Lenny Kravitz
• "Don't think we're not serious, when's it ever not?" - Jimmy Eat World
• "Be my friend, hold me. Wrap me up, unfold me. I am small and needy, warm me up, and breathe me. Ouch, I have lost myself again, lost myself and I have no will to be found. Yea, I think that I might break. Lost myself again and I feel unsafe." - Sia
• "However far away, I will always love you. However long I stay, I will always love you. Whatever words I say, I will always love you." - The Cure
• "When it gets cold outside and I got nobody to love, you'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we're gonna give up. And like a little girl that cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams, is there anyone out there because it's getting harder and harder to breathe?" - Maroon 5