shannon's spring break questionnaire made me cry

So I'm reading the bulletins on myspace... I actually do that every once in a while -- especially when I have something to post -- (see previous blog about tix for the Gift of Peace that our group is hosting out here in somewhere in the IE)

And... so I'm reading the messages and come across my cousin Shannon's questionnaire about her spring break... she's so funny -- and there was this one word question -- Cried?

And her response made ME cry.

i teared up wen i wrote to my brother this morning
does that count?

Her brother, my cousin Devin is in the Marines and was shipped out two weeks ago and is in Fallujah right now. (you can write a message to him too by signing the guest book on his website: www.devinsantivanez.com)

My tears, I know is just from overwhelm. I'm tired, a little stressed trying to find a location for the play we're hosting in two weeks. Tired from the planning, work, and the running around for the benefit we held this past Saturday (www.iedopna.org/benefit.html).

And, I'm even overwhelmed by the love that I felt while walking around and talking with people, sharing info, etc at the event. And things don't always go exactly as planned and sometimes things come out better than planned and sometimes things are more beautiful because of that big old mix of contradiction and irony.

And I know I'm stubbornly hopeful. Optimistic and idealistic and take on way too much. And sometimes I actually hear people when they tell me that I can't do everything, though most of the time I just keep on going and somehow every once in a while miracles happen, and I bend time and destiny and it's great.

And I can even get overwhelmed with the hope and love that people send my way. Most of the time I do what I do in the hope that someone is just a little bit inspired to do something more, different, better, and I'm grateful for the affirmation, the giving, the openness of people. Life is beautiful. People are amazing.

But it's so hard sometimes when you're feeling alone, and the task before you is so large. You know, peace on earth. Love, connection, community. Little things like that.

And the truth is, I'm not alone. And the task is still so large. And so in my overwhelm moments, I have to reach for something... something that makes me remember WHY even through those moments I have to keep on going, and keep on trying.

So I read Shannon's answer to a question on an internet slambook type questionnaire -- and I'm reminded. I do what I do so little sisters don't tear up during spring break when she's writing to her brother who is in a war zone.