God awakened inside of me

So today – Sunday. I went horse back riding. I rode a damn horse. Hooray for me! And hooray for Michelle because she just lives her life and gets over shit and doesn’t even let most of the shit get to her even a little bit. That’s so cool. What a great lesson – what a great role model.

So Amigo was a bastard. Ornery and hungry and stubborn and willfull. But I wasn’t scared of him – I just didn’t want to be mean. Being harsh with animals is not cool in my head. But then if you don’t show ‘em who’s boss you end up standing in a huge mess of bamboo for 10 minutes, prodding, begging, pleading a horse to move on when all he wants to do is eat. And then you spend some time thinking and trying to call all the people you know who might help you out of this predicament. And trying to call anyone on the cell phone – while all the time hoping that I don’t drop the goddam phone, because then I’ll have to get down… and then I’ll have to get back on the horse. And this mother flipping horse would probably choose that moment to decide he’s done eating and take off without me anyway. So I was there, making calls, and no one could answer, no one was home… and I only wanted to talk to someone and ask, “Like, how can I get this horse to move without doing what I have to do?” Hahaha. Now there’s a life lesson for you, Bobbi. You have to be the boss of your life. You have to speak loudly and with authority. You have to kick and prod if necessary. You might even have to grab him by the ears (or the bull by the horns as I was just saying the other day) to get him to fucking move. Imagine that. Lessons everywhere. Hahahaha. You just have to do it.

But Amigo was cool. Because he showed me how to live too. He went back home and wouldn’t hit another trail for the life of him because he didn’t like being alone. He was looking for a friend, couldn’t find one… and wanted to go back to where he knew friends would be. He was hungry… he ate. When someone said I want to go here and he wanted to go there, he stood there and he wouldn’t move. He didn’t give a fuck if I thought he was a bastard. Good for him. He couldn't care less that I wanted to turn – right, left, whatever – when he wanted to go straight. I had to laugh. Cuz that was funny. I believe most of the time that I’m that stubborn and that hard headed, but the truth of the matter is, I got nothing on Amigo. That fucking horse knows what’s up and what he wants, what he likes and how he lives – and he fucking stood his ground. And when I just laughed and said, fine, do whatever you want. He did. He had no shame going back home and pulling up to the platform and stopping and waiting for me to get the hell off his back.

And then, the girls. Those girls taught me some lessons too. Cuz maybe the little one wasn’t wordy, wasn’t polished, wasn’t mature enough to say things just so… but she looked me in the eye and she said, you gotta make him do what you want him to do. It’s that simple. And she sent us both packing to go learn our stuff all over again. Hahaha. That was great.

The best moment. The absolute best moment was finally hooking up with Michelle and her third attempt at the horse trails… and walking the meadow trail. A thin path, surrounded on both sides with tall flowering weeds that looked like goddam paradise. Walking along at a nice leisurely pace and looking at a stretch of plants and greenery, and thank god no bamboo that Amigo wanted to eat. Just the flowery weeds and foliage and whatever and seeing bees sucking on the nectar, and flying around, and just beeing beautiful and natural and doing what they do. I almost cried, because I was so happy that I woke up on Sunday morning, got dressed and fucking showed up. That’s how you live life.

And then, I taught a skin care class, like it’s my job to do. And I had an assistant – a personal team member who has been waiting for 3 years for me to get a fucking clue. And, I just did my job.

Everything is going to be all right. There’s nothing to be scared of. God has awakened inside of me. There’s nothing to fear. It will all be just fine.

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