random thoughts...
So at around 10 pm there's this pounding in my chest... and the old familiar heart palpitations are upon us... not really old... not really familiar - actually quite a recent manifestation caused by an overactive imagination. Thinking that I'm connected to random people out in the world who may or may not have any kind of psychic, mental, spiritual, emotional connection to me at all - but my fantastic brain is making electrical connections and sending messages to my heart - because maybe somebody, anybody is thinking about me. Probably totally and completely bullshit.
But... they're still going and I'm still wondering, cuz you never know.
And then after taking Gil to work, exiting on Cherry, waiting for the signal to turn green, there's the homeless guy holding a sign. "Everything matters. God bless." And, I think, I'd like to give him some money. And what do you know, I actually have cash in my wallet. I know the dollar bills are gone because I bought those candy bars earlier from Alicia and Kristen. But I have a five. And the signal is still red, so I roll down the window and hold out the five. Here ya go.
Cuz, he's right. Everything matters.
I'm loving my new printer. Cuz I really hated my old printer - poor little guy just couldn't make it work - but I can't for the life of me think of anything to print right now. I mailed out the rebate and printed the envelope on the printer (that was cool). I'm a little bummed that there's no color cartridge. But, I haven't had a workable color cartridge in forever anyway, so what am I missing? I've totally got to clean my office - it's a mess. And I don't mean like --- straighten shit out -- I mean total hurricane has blasted its way through here and it's a flipping gigantic pile of crap. And I look around and have no clue where to start.
Maybe I'll just go watch The Good Girl. And go be a lesbian slut... or go to bible study... or crack someone's head open just to see what's inside... or something. Apparently I have already started to watch the movie - I've just got to see how it ends.
"There's a Golden You waiting inside" says the award on my desk from Seminar 2002. Maybe I'm just gonna follow that train of thought and see where it goes. Has the golden queen arrived yet? Or is she just tottering along like a baby princess in high heels that are just too big for her as of yet? Is she desperately trying to be all grown up and fit into that role or is did she zoom right past it, a hundred miles an hour, into a wall? Probably something in between is the truth - but I'm not feeling the answer just yet.
I think it really has to do with this Sunday night feeling and I hate it. Yea... I'm gonna watch The Good Girl and pretend it isn't Sunday night and pretend I'm not home by myself and maybe my heart will stop it's crazy beat and I'll get some sleep and get ready for pajama day tomorrow. "Big day tomorrow - Home Depot, maybe hit Bed Bath & Beyond."
But... they're still going and I'm still wondering, cuz you never know.
And then after taking Gil to work, exiting on Cherry, waiting for the signal to turn green, there's the homeless guy holding a sign. "Everything matters. God bless." And, I think, I'd like to give him some money. And what do you know, I actually have cash in my wallet. I know the dollar bills are gone because I bought those candy bars earlier from Alicia and Kristen. But I have a five. And the signal is still red, so I roll down the window and hold out the five. Here ya go.
Cuz, he's right. Everything matters.
I'm loving my new printer. Cuz I really hated my old printer - poor little guy just couldn't make it work - but I can't for the life of me think of anything to print right now. I mailed out the rebate and printed the envelope on the printer (that was cool). I'm a little bummed that there's no color cartridge. But, I haven't had a workable color cartridge in forever anyway, so what am I missing? I've totally got to clean my office - it's a mess. And I don't mean like --- straighten shit out -- I mean total hurricane has blasted its way through here and it's a flipping gigantic pile of crap. And I look around and have no clue where to start.
Maybe I'll just go watch The Good Girl. And go be a lesbian slut... or go to bible study... or crack someone's head open just to see what's inside... or something. Apparently I have already started to watch the movie - I've just got to see how it ends.
"There's a Golden You waiting inside" says the award on my desk from Seminar 2002. Maybe I'm just gonna follow that train of thought and see where it goes. Has the golden queen arrived yet? Or is she just tottering along like a baby princess in high heels that are just too big for her as of yet? Is she desperately trying to be all grown up and fit into that role or is did she zoom right past it, a hundred miles an hour, into a wall? Probably something in between is the truth - but I'm not feeling the answer just yet.
I think it really has to do with this Sunday night feeling and I hate it. Yea... I'm gonna watch The Good Girl and pretend it isn't Sunday night and pretend I'm not home by myself and maybe my heart will stop it's crazy beat and I'll get some sleep and get ready for pajama day tomorrow. "Big day tomorrow - Home Depot, maybe hit Bed Bath & Beyond."
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